Trinity

Anger, Shame, Guilt.. Three of the most complex yet easy emotions. It is easy to feel angry, wanting vengeance and revenge. It is easy to feel shame, changing your patterns at the risk of being “exposed” of your true colors. It easy to feel guilt, taking the unreasonable blame for something someone else or even what we have done at the expense of someone else. What’s not easy is understanding what these feelings mean. Why do we continuously allow ourselves to be outsmarted by our own feelings?

Anger, Shame, Guilt.. Anger is the first reaction. The first feeling. The feeling of rage and irrational belief & behavior. The feeling of safety through aggressive protection. The feeling of passion & fear. The feeling of desperation & energy. A feeling misunderstood & taken for granted. A feeling misused & misguided. A feeling dangerous & destructive. An emotional soliloquy that provokes others to assume your insanity. A bold & distressed, emotional cry for help.

Anger, Shame, Guilt.. Shame is next. Shame drives us into a fortress of mistaken solitude & loneliness. A feeling that creates a preconceived notion for how everyone will respond to us. A feeling with intentions & repercussions well thought out. A feeling carefully calculated to minimize negative public views. A response to the insecurities of our decision making. A response to the fear of being judged even more harshly than we already are. A feeling harvested by the fear that others will see what we consider to be flaws & abnormalities. A quiet & isolated cry for help.

Anger, Shame, Guilt.. Guilt is the final stage. The stage of complete self sabotage. The pit of emotion that tells you it’s ALL your fault. The pit that tells you that you will never be a good person. That pit that tells you that ALL of your horrible and unfortunate acts will come back to pull you down where you belong. The feeling that makes you feel worthless & helpless at the same time. The feeling that gives you the right to assume all power & take responsibility for all the mistakes & misfortunes of others. An empty, indignant cry for help.

Anger, Shame, Guilt.. A trinity of passion, fear & fault. A trinity of hope, understanding & desire. Hope for tomorrow to be better than today. Understanding the strengths within & using them to affect your next play. Desire to know better, to do better, to be better. A trinity filled with knowledge of yourself that is most often taken for granted.